A Different Kind of Willpower
Willpower. For me, the word conjures up an SAS-style musclebound figure in khaki, jaw clenched as she scales a ravine in bitter arctic conditions. While I’m all for challenging ourselves to the limits (not right now though😉), I’m focusing on a softer kind of determination this week.
What about the willpower NOT to do things?
One of the benefits of journalling is that it allows you to step back and take a good look at your mental patterns over time. In this threshold moment as we ease into a new year, even a cursory glance at my journals is enough to reveal one thing:
I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
I am STILL spending too much time:
• Living in other peoples’ heads and worrying about what they think of me
• Compulsively putting ‘have to’ tasks ahead of my wellbeing
• Slipping into criticism and gossip
Having devoured Mindy Pelz’s brilliant new book ‘Age Like a Girl’ over the holidays, I really want to embrace my exciting midlife transformation of body, brain and spirit. But I know that I need to start exercising the discipline to STOP the little habits that hold me back.
Things like:
• The willpower NOT to criticise others over the little things -like my husband Steve buying the wrong milk or forgetting something on the shopping list.
• The willpower NOT to mark one more book beyond 9pm (even though I would normally push through so I can tick it off my ‘to do’ list).
• The willpower NOT to let others’ critical voices stop me from posting what I want to, wearing what I want to, and doing what I want to.
Personally, I have found this more than a little uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel right. What if I drop the ball at work and look inefficient? What if people think I’m too much? But I’ve found a few tips on the way to help me. I hope they can help you too 😊
1. Watch or listen to Louise Hay’s talk on ‘Change and Transformation’. In her usual loving way, she gives practical advice on how to support yourself through the natural ups and downs as you implement a change. Watch the whole video here.
2. When your internal voice starts up with the concerns, remind yourself of the title of this brilliant book by Terry Cole-Whittaker What You Think of Me is None of My Business. Instantly, that lets you off the hook! You don’t need to shrink or act like a more ‘acceptable’ version of yourself just because someone might not approve; it’s nothing to do with you!
3. Do nice things for yourself as you exercise the willpower not to practise those unhelpful habits. You’re reassuring your brain that everything is OK and you’re safe. You might also reward yourself for getting to the end of a week with stronger discipline. I’m treating myself to one of these gorgeous newly-released Lush bath bombs ‘Life in Rosy Light’
Wishing you a restful AND productive week,
Carolyn xxx
Mini Journalling Prompt:
What could you have the willpower NOT to do this week?