Romancing Yourself
When was the last time you truly lavished yourself with extravagant care and attention? Treated yourself to a romantic dinner or a beautiful bouquet just because you’re lovely? This Valentine’s Day, let’s really push the boat out for ourselves.
In her brilliantly audacious and empowering book ‘Women Living Deliciously’, Florence Given posits that the art of romancing yourself is fundamental to creating a fulfilling life. According to Given, “[…]if you can create an absolute banquet out of your life, satiating your appetite for joy, delight and romance, you are less likely to settle for the crumbs and scraps offered up to you by others.”
What a wonderful concept! I think what I love most of all is the opulence of her description. A banquet! Nothing feeble or piddly. A bold life brimming with pleasure.
As Given also alludes to, romancing yourself also removes the neediness that can plague our relationships with others. If we can’t fill up our own cup and relish our time alone, we are tempted to lower our standards and put up with less than we deserve.
In my opinion, there’s nothing more attractive than someone who treats themselves with the greatest of care. Just this morning, I couldn’t help but smile as a lady at our local coffee van admitted that she had called ahead to check that there would be one of her favourite cakes waiting for her- which she duly picked up along with a pecan caramel latte to boot. Good for her!
So this Valentine’s Day, even with zero budget, show yourself the love.
Here are my tips, but I’d love to hear yours too!
#1 Engage the Senses
Create a playlist of songs that bring delight OR use a playlist of piano or acoustic songs that evoke the sounds of your favourite restaurant or romantic city.
Serve yourself a tasting platter of delights. I love treating myself to little smoked salmon canapes or sweet macaroons in pastel shades, but even a grilled toastie oozing with melted cheese can feel indulgent when cut up into delicate squares. Welsh rarebit bites, anyone?
#2 Write a Love Letter to Yourself
Use some time to hand-write a love letter to yourself with your favourite pen.
What are the things about yourself that you find irresistible? What do you adore about your appearance? What are the most frivolous things that you love in the world ‘just because’?
To me, one of the best signs of self-love is when you adore something about yourself that others find fault with. The more you practise this, the higher esteem you’ll hold yourself in. I’m starting my list with my cute little stubby toes and Biscoff Crème eggs!
#3 Dopamine Dressing
Dopamine dressing. After the blah-ness of January, delight yourself with pops of bright colours to boost your mood. Alternatively, choose your most cosy, comfy fabrics and drape them around yourself as you enjoy your sacred relaxing time.
Wishing you a week bursting with romance 🥰🥰🥰
Carolyn xxxxxxxxxx
Mini Journalling Prompt:
What do you I love about myself? Aim for a list of at least 25 things.